he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
