i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
The beer is more important than you right now.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
