I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
