ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
