her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
