Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
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I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
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No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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