Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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