Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
