Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize