So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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