im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
