What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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