my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
