Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
are you so shy because you have an std?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
