just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
