I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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