Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
