Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
