his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
The best revenge is premature balding
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
