you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
