I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
