Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
