i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
