Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
