whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
