I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You can't just leave with hair like that
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
