My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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