Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
The adults are the big ones right?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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