1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Alive.
So much puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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