Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
