Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Randomize
