I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
