i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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