Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
