I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
