I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Come back. Shots need mouths.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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