your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
