even my farts smell like vagina
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
You are a genius and a whore.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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