you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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