You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
