the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
