I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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