Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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