would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
