Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
