Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
