I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
