Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
