Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
