Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
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Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
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i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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