on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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