I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
