Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
