I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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