He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
this hospital has no fireball
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
