I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
