If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
wat bout pragnant strippers??
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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